You bet your arse a hookup can last too long. Sometimes it can get to feel like a funeral.
There are three likely reasons why you might start to feel the drag after the orgasm:
- The sex was great but personalities are out of sync.
- What you hoped would be a wicked hookup turned out to be a mercy fuck, so you linger, feeling an obligation to hang around long enough not to hurt the guy’s feelings.
- The guy you hooked up with is guilt-tripping you into staying.
Number one is easy: keep the hookup lines open to reconnect, with an understanding that the relationship requires no more than a quick booty call. In and out.
The other two options are icky. Awkward. Unsettling.
Of course it’s awesome if you’re really interested in the guy you just hooked up with, but who knows if he feels the same way. Don’t put him on the spot. Neediness is not only unattractive, it’s unfair to heap it on a guy you don’t even know.
Instead you might consider some of these common courtesies, post-hookup:
- Don’t ask for his deets. If he hasn’t offered you his contact info, it could be for any number of logical and fair reasons—including the possibility that he’s not interested in a future hookup. Don’t pry: offer your contact info instead. If he’s interested, you’ll hear from him.
- Don’t ask for another hookup. Doing so can create awkwardness if his answer is no. Tell him you’d like to hook up again, and leave it up to him.
- Don’t beg him to stay. If he’s trying to leave, he’s done. All future hookups will be off if his last memory of you is that of a groveling desperado.
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It’s tough to resist gushing over someone you’ve fallen for. But like any relationship, you’re better off waiting for the results of at least a few hookups (if you even get that far) before you open up too much. Keep your emotions in check until you can truly get a sense of his beyond-the-fucking interest.
Besides, not all guys will feel the obligation to be respectful: if you try to bully them into staying, you risk being told to your face, “Not interested. But thanks for the fuck.”