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Your First Gay Experience

Two Men at a Bar

For every thing in life there’s a first time, from the first time you walk to the first time you’re kissed. Your first gay sexual experience, whether you’re 18 or 80 doesn’t have to be a disaster, and it doesn’t have to fill you with trepidation.

We are seeing the end of the old binary straight/gay false dichotomy that has stood for ages, as well as the collapse of the so-called “moral objections” to homosexual encounters. Many men who truly dig women find themselves free to explore their urges, realizing that having sex with a man does not have to result in a permanent switching of sides, forever labelled gay or bisexual. If you are contemplating your first gay sexual encounter, knowing what’s in store will be helpful.

If you’ve considered yourself “straight” up until this point, expect to find it unsettling, especially if your encounter goes well and you’ve found that you enjoy it immensely. It can lead to a lot of uncomfortable soul searching. We’re here to tell you that no one has the right to assign you to any category but yourself. If you want to have sex with men and call yourself straight, that’s your prerogative. Judging from the vast quantity of “straight” and “str8” men you see on nearly every gay dating and gay hookup sites, you’ll be far from alone in holding onto that designation.

Like any first-time sexual encounter, you’re going to be nervous, and that’s natural, and completely understandable. If you’re a man who’s previous experiences have only been with women, it’s almost certain that your first experience with a woman was not your best showing as far as performance and staying power goes. In your first gay encounter, you’re going to have additional nerves added, so just relax and go with the flow. As you gain experience, you’ll get better and enjoy it more as you become accustomed to the different set of stimuli involved with having sex with men.

Speaking of differing stimuli, while it might seem like stating the obvious, kissing a man is different from kissing a woman. Even a recently shaved male face is going to have some degree of stubble. The texture of the skin is different between the sexes, and similarly, in kissing another man, you’ll find there’s an aggression level there that’s backed by more physical strength. While some women might appreciate you being gentle and soft, gay men are accustomed to a more physical experience.

As someone who has bedded many men whose previous experiences were primarily with women, they often disappoint when it comes to displaying an appropriate level of aggression. I don’t have deep-seated fears of being overpowered and taken against my will, and chances are you’re not significantly stronger than I am. By all means, Follow the vibe of the situation you find yourself in, but if you’re a straight guy, be aggressive and flex your strength, Don’t be overly gentle, I’m a man and can take it. While I’m not advocating straight-up dominance or anything that involves non-consent, you’ll find that men meet aggression with aggression, and it’s a very different kind of encounter than you might have experienced with a girl.

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