Great news for all you cum-bunnies out there: it’s possible to increase the volume of your load! Your complete attention now acquired, allow me to drop the bomb: there ain’t no magic cumpill.
In fact, why don’t we start by addressing this unreliable balderdash. The People Inside Your Computer will list all sorts of “natural” ways to increase your load. Horny goat weed is just one popular treatment among many. I won’t list them all because it doesn’t matter: none of these methods have been clinically proven to work. Sure, there are plenty of online testimonials from guys who insist that some supplement or other made them cum like a porn star; but you can also find a whole lotta online peeps who claim having been directly spoken to by Jesus — the power of wishful thinking is mighty, indeed.
So: no Magic Cumpill. But whatevs, the game’s not over yet! There actually are ways to hefty-up the load… although you probably won’t wanna hear them because they’re not very sexy. But if you’re serious about it, they actually work!
The Obvious. If it has anything to do with bodily functions, you can bet that good health is the best place to start. The rumors are true: eat your fruits and veggies and your cum shot will thank you. Proper sleep not only gives your little guys the strength they need, it also helps you keep wood. Most important of all: exercise — all that testosterone goes right to the balls.
Hydration. Cum is a fluid, so keep yourself replenished! Here’s the bummer: I know it’s popular to party a bit, but alcohol and drugs turn your system into a Sahara.
Smoking. Talk about a vasoconstrictor! Looking to keep all the blood away from your manbits? Keep smoking. Can’t shoot a heavy load with a limp wiener.
Kegels. This simple squeezie exercise helps to strengthen your prostate, which in turn helps with both stimulating the cum machine and preventing premature ejaculation. Keep your Kegels strong. In fact, warm them up for before sex.
Edging. This one is catching on, and I love it. Just-just-just before you cum, don’t cum. Slow everything down, catch your breath, then start all over again. Next time you’re about to cum, edge again. The more you can repeat this in a session the bigger your load will be. Here’s where having done your Kegels pays-off.
Abstinence. Nothing works better to shoot copious amounts of cum than taking your cock out of the game for as long as you can survive doing so. If I know I’ll be having sex in the near future, I keep my hands off my junk until then. The amount of self-control required is colossal, but the rewards will make you feel like a porn star.
Speaking of porn stars: Hey, how come they always have such huge loads?! I want loads like THEM! Listen up, boys: porn stars have huge loads for one of the following reasons:
1. They professionally abstain for goodness knows how long before shooting the scene because paying their rent depends on their load-size.
2. Every body is made differently, and some guys are made to shoot big loads. In the same way that some really really really tall guys were born to play basketball, some heavy shooters were born for porn.
Don’t take it personally.
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