Booty Call: Do’s and Don’ts

If you have a fuck-buddy you can contact for a last-minute or late-night hookup, consider yourself lucky. Good ones are hard to find. So don’t get lazy and start taking it for granted.

The Ground Rules you establish between yourselves are your own, but there is one rule that must always be applied, and it should be the first rule—both parties must have signed up to be fuck-buddies and nothing more. If one of you is simply taking advantage of booty-calls in the hopes that your loverboy will “come around”, you’re only asking for trouble (and that’s a whole other blog post).

So someone is interested in answering your booty-call and the ground rules have been set. Ready for some impromptu lovin’? Remember the following:

Never demand or expect to be received. Just because it’s a perfect booty-call time for you doesn’t always mean it’s the perfect time for him. If the timing doesn’t work, respect that. Don’t bully or guilt him into a hookup that doesn’t suit him.

Never show up unexpectedly. Unless your fuck-buddy has specifically told you that he either A) is “into” it, or B) doesn’t mind, you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever drop in by surprise. Show some courtesy. If you dare to pound on his apartment door at 3am, the drop-by may be your last.

Shower. Pretty self-explanatory… you’d think. Guys—always shower before a hookup! Someone is making time for you, the least you can do is be squeaky-clean and fresh-as-a-daisy about it. And BODY SPRAYS DO NOT COUNT AS SQUEAKY-CLEAN, nor are they a substitute for a shower. Don’t be a dumbass—shower first.

Speaking of squeaky-clean: if you’re a bottom, Douche. Please. Besides, taking the time to do so (and it doesn’t take that long in the grand scheme of things, does it?) only allows for better sex. If you need to know more about it, ask Mr. Google…

Be generous, not moochy. When it comes to accessories and tools-of-the-trade, like condoms, lube, toys, etc., don’t always show up expecting the supply shelf to be well-stocked. Those things cost money, and it’s your booty, too. Sometimes we run out or forget, but don’t make a habit of it. Try to always have your own, and be ready to share.

Whatever you do, remember to respect the lucky situation you’re in. A booty-call is a call not everyone can make. And too many misdials will eventually leave you with a dial-tone.

Be safe!

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