Anyone who has spent any time online for the purposes of meeting men has surely seen them: “straight” married men on the prowl, looking for some homo action. With entreaties like “Must Be Discreet” and “Wife Doesn’t Know,” usually accompanied with disclaimers like “they rarely do this,” “str8,” “curious” and whatever other descriptor they feel compelled to add to let you know they really are indeed, “straight.”
If you’re looking for a one-time fling, and are attracted to the individual, by all means give it a go. Understand going in that you’re likely dealing with someone who is very conflicted about what they’re getting up to with you, and quite often, at least in our experience they are pretty lousy lays as a result, full of restrictions about what is in and out of bounds. You may end up with one who starts crying mid-coitus, which is likely not what you have in mind. Or others who are so excited that it’s all over before it even starts. But the Y chromosome is a blindingly powerful motivator, and lessons learned are often forgotten when there’s sex in the offing.
Perhaps the worst thing that can happen is a strong attraction, one way or the other or worse yet, mutual. If he is married and unavailable, the last thing you want is to become the second-stinger in a closeted married guy’s life, nor is it particularly good for your karma to be a home-wrecker. If you find that there is attachment growing between you and your married fuck-buddy, the time to end it is now!
While we obviously have a hard-learned opinion on getting involved with married guys, many find the appeal of the conquest of a “straight” man appealing, and frankly for all our high-minded ideals, we’re guys too, so we’re not above throwing those ideals aside when push comes to shove, but make sure you go into the situation with your eyes wide open, and always, always practice safe sex, regardless of how “safe” a partner he appears to be, you never know if he has another slut like you that he sees on other days.
Sex with Married Men: No, Thanks!
I make a point of keeping away from judgement when it comes to other people’s sexcapades, but once in a while (not often!) morality creeps in.
Married men are a staple on gay dating sites. The reasons are vast, and in most cases obvious and understandable. Coming out is hard enough without being married. But unless the guy is in an openly bisexual relationship, I can’t bring myself to “have an affair”. Leave it to an unsettled conscience to kill the buzz.
I confess the decision to take the high-ground crept up on me. I first approached the idea of hooking up with married men the way I approach anything else: I let the cock lead. My magnanimous change of heart came only after clueing in that the sex I was having with cheaters was always a drag. Maybe it’s the guilt holding them back. Whatevs. There’s a dishonesty card at play, and I’m uncomfortable being a part of it.
The paths to breaking free are many, and we each have our own. Being closeted and married has got to suck. It’s probably a good thing these poor guys have easy access to gay dating sites, where they can hook up and – for however long – be themselves. The scene is full of guys once married, who only managed to go full-gay after allowing themselves a period of secret experimentation and existence. It requires great courage to come out, and experience is the ultimate booster-cable.
I get all that. But…
I, personally, just have a thing about extra-marital affairs, and
in the very end, I can’t endorse it enough: nothing beats the rush of finally coming out. Get to it sooner rather than later, instead of sneaking around. Your wife will be freaked enough after the “honey, I’m gay” speech – can you imagine having to tell her you’re sleeping with men?
Get it done, Number One!
The sex will get better. The freedom will make you cock-crazy.
Call me then.
Meanwhile, I invite any married guy in an openly bisexual relationship to message me.
Bring your wife if you want!