If you’re the kind of guy who likes to really get to know someone before hooking up, kudos to you for your diligent screening. Just be mindful of how long you carry on developing nothing more than an e-relationship. You could be setting yourself up for disappointment—with only your own imagination to blame.
It’s not wrong to be discerning about your hookups. Nor is it out of line to first get to e-know them. But much of this dating world of ours is fostered by the fantasies (not necessarily sexual) we seek. Consciously or not, we often long for something/someone specific. Rarely do we find it. We do, however, find guys whose profiles seem to at least touch on something that resonates with us. Trouble is, whatever blanks are missing run the risk of, over the course of time, being filled by what we imagine or hope the guy on the other end of the line to be. And you have a better chance of winning the lottery than you do getting it right.
“Getting to e-know” a guy over a long period of time means the chat is likely to include everything from sussing-out his personality to engaging in e-sex/dirty-talk, both of which (let’s be honest, here) are always subject to some kind of “editing” on the part of each party. We tend to dish out our best, hoping for a catch. Nothing wrong with this, either; we’d do the same at a job interview. But stringing out “our best” over the course of weeks, or longer, only means The Fantasy Version is perpetuated.
It gets worse. For many people, it’s much easier to be themselves—or be someone else—within the safety of online anonymity. So when the time comes to apply all that Big Talk to a face-to-face hookup, nerves/inhibitions/reality can fall like a grand piano from out of the clouds and squash us like a fly. And who wants to hookup with a squashed fly.
What’s happened is you’ve already developed a relationship—but an online one only, at odds with the real world. Maybe it’s best kept that way. I’ve developed online relationships with guys I’ve yet to meet, for whatever reasons. We often share dirty talk, and it can be regular fun. And that’s where it ends.
Sometimes, sometimes not. But I’ve heard about this kind of disappointment from many—which is always post-worthy.
So don’t wait! Grab your studmuffins while you can! And while they’re “real”…