Pros and Cons of Friends with Benefits

A fuck-buddy is an awesome thing. There, that’s settled. Now onto the dangers and pitfalls.

A fuck-buddy is someone you regularly connect with for sex. You may even become friends, which is great. That is NOT the same as having sex with one of your friends—as far as I’m concerned, that’s a no-no. If you’ve already been friends with someone, it’s best to never cross that line, no matter how wasted you are. Fuck-buddies will come and go (ahem, ahem, you know what I mean…); but if you sleep with a friend, and it subsequently gets awkward, or you carry on for a while and then it has to stop—and then it gets awkward—then it’s most likely the friendship that will ultimately get fucked. Just because you have plenty in common doesn’t mean you should fuck; in the same way that just because you wanna fuck some guy it doesn’t mean you have anything else in common. Good friends are hard to find, let alone keep. It’s just not worth it.

If you are lucky enough to have a no-strings-attached fuck-buddy, and both the sex and the relationship are keeper-worthy, then you might wanna consider some ground rules. It has to be clear, UP FRONT, that both of you agree to the NSA policy. If either of you are hoping for more of a commitment, then it’s probably best not to carry on. Doing so, over time, is bound to lead to someone’s heartbreak. This point must also be addressed regularly—although you both originally signed up for NSA, emotions can evolve. A relationship grounded in false hope is destined to doom.

Finding a perfect fuck-buddy, sadly, is a lot of trial and error (unless you’re not fussy). The Right Guy is all about a mix of great sex, common interests, a comfortable place to shag, and personal likeability. It could take a while before you luck upon someone who’s able to check off every box. But when you do, don’t let him go.

And please remember that your fuck-buddy is not your street whore (role-playing fantasies aside, of course) — treat him with respect. Getting laid every day is easy, but getting laid regularly by someone who’s awesome and totally into you is better.

Be safe!

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