What can I say, there are plenty of awesome guys out there. I admit it: even a runaround, non-committal horndog like me falls head over heels once in a while. And it feels good while it lasts. When it lasts.
Everyone has their own way of doing things. I can only tell you what does – and doesn’t – work for me.
If my heart’s broken, the first thing I do is stop online dating for a while. As much as it pains me to stay logged-off, it’s not half as bad as discovering him online, flirting/dating/hooking up with other guys. I don’t see anything wrong with wallowing in self-pity, staying in my jammies, and eating ice cream in bed for a while.
All that free time can lead to stewing, which leads to anger, resentment, jealously; you know the words. So when I finally get back to dating, I summon all my strength to keep these nasty vibes in check. It’s not always so easy, but there are two very good reasons for doing so, 1) it’s unhealthy for both the mind and body, and 2) other guys can smell it a mile away, not unlike desperation. It’s unattractive, and won’t help your chances of finding a rebound.
And I do try to find a rebound. And I make it clear I’m on the rebound – that way any guy who happens to be looking for something a little more serious can steer clear of me. But I’m always sure to come across as a goodwill-rebounder, not a revenge-rebounder. Once I’m back out there in the game, it’s about fresh starts, not heavy baggage.
We may never stop loving someone, but we can find a way to move on.
Surrender to the old cliché: time heals all. We never, ever, believe it at the time, but in hindsight we always discover it to be true.