How to Know When a Relationship is Over

For Goodness’ Sake, It’s Over!

Omg! I know so many guys who are oblivious to every sign that they’re getting dumped.

Sure, I understand the denial at play. It isn’t easy when we’re not loved by the one we’re with. We ignore the obvious. We cling to false hopes. But the longer an already-dead relationship lingers, the more the rot.

Over and over I’ve sat with friends whose boyfriends were clearly wanting out:

“He’s cancelled three dates,” a friend will tell me.
“Did you confront him about it?” I ask.
“Ya,” he says, “but twice he had to work late and the other time his parents insisted he come for dinner.”
“And he didn’t ask you to his parents for dinner?”
“He couldn’t. They still don’t know he’s gay.”

By now I’d be feeling the gentle breeze of a blowing red flag: this relationship will not last.

“He’s barely been answering my emails,” I’ll hear.
“How long’s that been going on?” I ask.
“About a month,” friend says.
“Maybe he’s outta town,” I suggest.
“No, I ran into him the other day. He says he’s been really busy.”
“Doing what?” “He didn’t say.”

And here the red flag should be slapping you across the face. (These are so obvious. I feel bad for my friends when stuff like this happens, but, jeez!)

“He’s driving me crazy! His texts are so cryptic lately!” a friend will say.
Friend: so r we on 2nite or what?
Friend’s Boyfriend: dunno
“Any idea why he’s so evasive?” I ask.
“He says he’s been really busy.”
“Doing what?”
“Back taxes.”

Maybe so; and maybe he’s cleaning his fishtank.

Of course, these are our dear friends, and we don’t want to see them hurt. But by the time I’m hearing that my friend’s boyfriend doesn’t even get wood anymore, the red flag should be strangling my friend so tight that his eyes are popping out, which you’d think would make it easier for him to see what everyone but him can see: he’s getting dumped.

And here’s a shout-out to all the guys who are not clear about it when they’re dumping someone: be clear about it when you’re dumping someone. Be honest, respectful, and PLEASE be quick about it. Don’t give anyone false hopes – perhaps because you don’t have the courage to end a relationship.

The end of a relationship must not linger. For anyone.

Stop ignoring the obvious. Learn to let it go. For your own sake.

Be safe!

Read: How to Move On After Heartbreak

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