You Want Me to Do What to You…?
You see it all the time in guys’ profiles.
But just because someone is into these things, does it mean they fetishize them? Not at all. At any given time, with the right person, in the right circumstances, we might all be open to trying something out. Most of these guys are listing in their profiles what they’re happy to get up to — not what they need to get up to in order to get off.
A fetish is more of a fixation or obsession, with a given sexual act. And it gets tricky.
Let’s say your hookup arrives and insists the only way he’ll get off is if you take a dump on his chest (I’m not making this up! These things happen!). First, you may be instantly turned off. Second, even if you’re considering it, the “mood” certainly gets strained as you desperately try to solve where this deed might agreeably take place in your home. Needless to say, it can get awkward if you didn’t see it coming.
Now imagine how, upon witnessing your reaction, he must feel.
Here are two things you absolutely must understand about fetishes:
- There’s nothing at all abnormal about them (unless they involve children, animals, or anything dangerous to anyone).
- A gajillion other guys probably share your “secret” fetish.
The last thing you want is to have your fetish be a hookup-buzzkill; or worse, be made to feel as though you’re a freak.
So get started by taking a deep breath and making your fetish known up front. Of course you should still include your fetish(es) in your “Into” column, but also:
*Make it clear when writing your dating profile. Let other guys know what you really want.
A serendipitous meeting of the fetishes is something to be cherished. But it’s hardly even close to being impossible. You’ll meet your match, I promise. And if you’re straight up about it from the outset, you’ll be able to narrow your search.
You shouldn’t worry that it’ll mean a smaller pool: you’re only skimming the hookups that would have likely only disappointed you anyway.
Afterall, sometimes only getting peed on will do.