Online Dating: Must Have a Sense of Humour

We hear it all the time, we see it all the time on dating sites — so it must be an important expectation, right?

“He’s gotta have a sense of humor.”

How realistic is it, though? And what does it even mean?

  • Do we expect our potential partners to be funny?
  • Is it enough that he recognizes something funny when he hears it?
  • And… funny according to whom?

There’s really no way of knowing the answers to these questions for sure, but I suspect whenever we write “…must have sense of humour…” in the WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR box, we actually mean (consciously or otherwise) one of two things:

  1. I want him to entertain me the way I like to be entertained, or
  2. He has to think I’m funny.

Probably the latter.

Personally, I think it’s best to avoid it from your profile completely. Here’s the thing:

If you think you’re funny, chances are your sense of humour (whatever that might be) will find its way into your profile all on its own. That in itself will demonstrate to those who insist on “…must have sense of humour…” that you, indeed, have one. You don’t need to make a point of it. If they share your sense of humour, that is. Curb-ing Your Enthusiasm might not get you far with the big-cocked twink whose own sense of humour might be a little too Dude, Where’s My Car for your tastes, nowhat’m’sain?

Another risk of declaring “…must have sense of humour…” in your WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR box is you’ll likely end up with an inbox full of emails from not-so-funny guys trying to be funny. Just thinking about it makes me cringe with embarrassment… and quite possibly self-consciousness.

Which brings me to:

What if your own sense of humour sucks but you’re way too completely outta touch to be aware of it? You could be one of those guys who thinks he’s making everyone laugh, but, really, you’re just driving other people crazy. We should all worry about that one. Unless people line-up to pay you to be funny, you can never know for sure.

One last thing before you run out trying to be funny. Although you may insist on “…must have sense of humour…”, here’s what’s more realistic:

You’re more likely to prefer a guy who isn’t funny but great in every other way than to prefer a guy who’s hilarious but otherwise a big fat loser.


Be safe!

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