Dating Profiles: Looking for Anonymous

So I’ve decided there must be a god, and he (yes, he; but, wearing a foxy dress) obviously invented gay dating sites. It’s heaven-online to log in and behold so many profiles containing the niche word “anonymous”.

Don’t be misled by the dating-anonymous word connection: Despite proliferating within the  online gay dating context, “anonymous” has little to do with secret admiration. It’s about acknowledging sex for its basic need and satisfying it, regardless of who helps you out with the task. The “who” is nothing more than a means. That’s what makes it so fucking sexy, you see.

The spectrum of possibility ranges from sexy to dirty to skanky to dangerous to downright deadly. I happen to think there’s plenty of wiggle room in there, with something for all tastes. The most popular extremes you’ll find posted are calls for either “anonymous blowjobs” or “anonymous loads”. Both can be interchangeable, but usually not. Lemme ‘splain:

A glory hole (whether in a guy’s living room or at your local bathhouse), the front seat of a guy’s car, a dark porch with the door left unlocked – these are more likely situations when a guy is getting/giving anonymous blowjobs. And even though, in the aforementioned list, swallowing a stranger is on the menu, “anonymous loads” refers to a far more high-pitched intensity. When a guy posts on his profile that he’s looking for “anonymous loads”, what he’s after is openly unsafe anal sex to completion – with some guy whose face he won’t turn to see once.

Everyone’s basic Gangbang Fantasy (gay or straight) is an apt analogy for the “anonymous” concept. We want to be used by someone (multiply according to taste) who knows us only for our immediate sexual desires. All that’s required is a complete surrender of the self to be used as nothing more than a sex object. Ain’t nothing not sexy about being someone’s sex object.

Online dating itself, despite its subsequent hookups or chat relationships, is not too far off from “anonymous”. But, as always, leave it to us gaylords to run with it. Any number of guys are online openly looking for something along the spectrum of “anonymous”. And they’ll find it because it’s popular, and it’s popular because it can be awesome. Just be sure where along the spectrum the guy in the profile is looking, if you know what I mean. A misunderstanding could later become embarrassing.

Be safe!

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