Way-Generous Fair Frugal Cheap
That’s how I see the scale of financial sharezies. The guy you’re dating: where does he fall? And what are you willing to accept?
I have zero problem accepting the Way-Generous hospitality of a wealthy date. I’m hardly rolling in the dough; so if he wants to pay for an extravagant night on the town, I will gladly accept. And, although money can’t buy my love, it goes a long way to getting in my pants. (Please don’t misconstrue this as accepting “sexual patronage”, if you know what I’m saying. That I would never do.)
Let’s for a moment jump to the far end of the scale: The Cheap Date. Identify him quickly and unload him. ‘Nuff said.
On the more realistic side, most of us will be dating within the Fairness – or less than – category: after the date, we split the bill, kinda thing. But this middle-ground can really irk me, and I’m always on guard. Frugality is certainly something to be admired, but I usually find it off-putting while on a date. Wouldn’t such a virtue be best applied to general household spending? If I’m out on a date, I’m there for a special night out. When the guy across from me settles on the cheese-sticks because the oysters are just too extravagant, I can’t help but feel the “specialness” of our dinner together has been lessened – from Frugal to Cheap. Am I not worth splurging on an oyster?
The safest solution is Fairness. Always split the bill. But here, too, I’m unsettled. If I reach a point where we’re on Date #5, the “Lemme get this one, you get the next one” approach suits me best. First, it demonstrates generosity without extravagance, and second, it’s a nice way to tell each other there’ll be more dates to come.
Money is always a tricky thing, and it can bring out the worst in people. Any/all hangups about money should be sussed out and identified asap.
I Like My Oysters Any Old Way