This is not a post about manscaping. That would be far too complicated for me—I wouldn’t know how to address grooming to such an extent. This is more of an ode to the fashioning of pubes, if only because it continues to fascinate me.
For those who’ve yet to take any sort of shearer to their netherlands, there are two things to consider up front:
- the less pubic hair you have, the bigger your package looks, but…
- shave bald and you’ll either have to keep it up or live with the itch as it regrows (unless you’re brave enough to wax, which I am not…)
Both are noteworthy, no?
So where do you start? Very subjective. But it’s always a fun mystery to see how a new hookup maintains his bits. I always expect one of the following:
The Squeaker. Silky-smooth, like a shave before church. It can sure be sexy, especially if the asshole is hairless. But there are disadvantages:
- maintenance (see above)
- unless you’re a gay bear, the fat-rolls are now there for all the world to see
- there can be a creepy prepubescent quality that some might find off-putting
The Picasso. I love this one. Guys who take great care in crafting their pubes into a work of art. Well, a work of art may be a little strong; but it’s sculpted into an interesting shape. It’s like a hair tattoo. Disadvantage:
- maintenance: it’d be like keeping a Japanese garden
The John Holmes. Never-shaved. Looks like the hairy bush of a 70’s porn star. The best thing about it is it does the god-given job it was meant to—keep bacteria at bay. So I guess that’s good. And hairy guys are certainly a niche commodity. Disadvantages:
- gotta admit, it looks pretty 70’s porn star-ish…
- the hairier the bush, the smaller the cock looks
- all that hair can be a nuisance during a blowjob
The Don Johnson. This is the 5-o’clock-shadow of pubes. Trimmed to nearly the skin, but not enough to be bald. It keeps the package looking big, but conceals any unpleasant rolls. Easy to maintain, but:
- requires constant maintenance
- just a fraction too low and you’ll end up in Itchopolis
And here’s a solid piece of advice, no matter which pattern you choose: avoid using the same trimmer as the one you use on your face. I had a friend who did that! Eeeeew!