Are you considering dating a gay dad?
Gaytown is filled with guys for whom, and for whatever reasons, coming out happened late along the way. So late, in some cases, that ex-wives and children have become part of their package.
Make no mistake about it: the once-married, father-of-three manhunk you’ve fallen for is a package deal.
Gay Dad Dating Tips
Let’s assume a guy you meet tells you upfront that he has kids. No other consideration is (or should be) as significant, thereby making the options quite straightforward:
Run, if you’re not into kids.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting kids. There are plenty of folks out there who are happy to take on that task.
Be honest when you tell him kids aren’t part of your plan, lifestyle, whatever. He may be disappointed, but he’ll have heard it before.
Keep it casual.
Maybe he’s happy to compartmentalize his life in a way that allows the two of you to have a casual relationship that doesn’t include his kids.
This gay dad dating option is usually on the condition the relationship comes second to and doesn’t infringe on his relationship with his children. If that works – bingo.
Be a part of the package.
Gay men want to raise kids, too; for obvious reasons, opportunity is elusive. But if you find a guy you’re crazy about, and you like his kids, and they seem to like you, it can be a pretty sweet deal.
I’ve seen it work many times. I’ve also seen it fail. It’s a commitment and sacrifice of the highest order; some guys forget that, or don’t see it, or ignore it.
Should You Date a Gay Dad?
Kids are his priority, otherwise you wouldn’t have faced this ultimatum in the first place.
Are you prepared to take second place, even when you really need him?
If for some reason he can’t be there for them, are you prepared to step in and be the standby guardian (if not parent)?
His divorce and child support will hemorrhage chunks of cash-flow that could have been spent on 5-star travel. Are you prepared to cut back on those beach holidays?
The list of drawbacks is long, but the rewards can far outweigh them. If you meet an awesome guy and it turns out he has kids, it doesn’t make him less awesome. He’s more likely awesome because of his kids. And that’s an attraction worth consideration.
Personally, I think there’s something worse than all of this: If you meet a gay guy who hasn’t been somehow shaped by being a father, or by his kids, chances are he’s not worth knowing at all.
Do you have experience with gay dad dating?