There was a time in history when smoking after sex (“Do you smoke after sex?”) was a staple cliché. Not so much any more, since few people want much to do with cigarettes—especially in the bedroom.
As an ex smoker—and a foodie at heart—making the substitution to a post-coital pigout was, how shall I say, easy as pie! Ne’er a shag I doth plan hath not victuals to follow!
In the same way I plan ahead with lube and condoms, I always ensure a scrumptious feast to be shared while under the covers. The trick is to serve items that are quick to prepare, easy to eat in bed, and decadent enough to mark the occasion.
Here are my faves:
—Caviar tops the list. Did I not just mention decadent? It doesn’t have to be Beluga—you can find awesome caviar for less than ten dollars. It’s easy to share, and all you need is a small spoon.
—Hagen Daaz. Don’t be so cheap with the brand of ice cream: someone just agreed to fuck you, the least you can do is serve him a designer label.
—Paté. Yes, it requires both a plate AND a knife, but there’re two of you—together you can sort it out. Besides, not only is the taste worth the extra effort, you’ll need to replenish your proteins.
—Chocolate cream tarts. Unlike a butter tart, these won’t run. They keep their shape in order to allow your already spent muscles to surrender to the onslaught of deliciousness.
All my hookups are surprised by my preparedness of food, and all are thrilled. The post-sex meal becomes a highlight of its own (and I’m not ashamed to say it ups my street cred!)
It’s not about the snobbery of choices. The aforementioned list is my standard menu, but I can’t deny that I’m just as happy to slum it if need be. Do I occasionally stuff my face with Doritos? Yes. Have I been known to scarf back a bag of Halloween Kit Kats? Oh, yes.
But I recommend making the effort. Imagine the response to whipping out caviar for your lover after awesome sex!
Conversely, if the hookup was a bit of a dud, out come the Doritos.
Either way, no one falls asleep on an empty stomach.
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