Gay online dating may be the greatest thing invented since KY, but if your profile is terrible, you’re missing out on its full potential.
Do yourself a favor, look at your gay dating profile and ask yourself if it is accurate, and if it’s putting out what you’re hoping to portray.
Tips for an Effective Gay Dating Profile
Here’s some good guidelines to improving your profile, and by extension, your attractiveness to potential partners. First we’ll look at the written part of your profile before learning how to optimize your gay profile pictures.
Complete all the information fields.
It’s simply good form, leaving out important information like your age, weight, height or something else that people fixate upon will lead people to assume the worst and skip you over.
Stand out from the crowd.
Whether you’re an intellectual, a smart ass, or even a pessimist, try to fashion your answers in a way that allows your distinctive “voice” to come through on your profile. It will capture the attention of those who are on your wavelength and hopefully make them interested to hear more of what you’ve got to say.
List your interests and obsessions.
Even on gay hookup sites, having your interests outside of sex and carousing makes you a more three-dimensional and interesting person, regardless of whether you’re just looking for sex or something longer term.
Avoid discriminatory language.
This includes writing things like no over thirty, no overweight, no Asians/blacks/whites, etc. We all have our preferences, but there’s no need to be a dick about it.
If you’re receiving messages from someone you don’t find attractive, you can simply don’t respond. There’s no need to ruin the online dating experiences of others by forcing them to read ageist, racist, or body-shaming remarks.
The same thing goes for describing your STD status as “clean,” as that implies those who might be HIV-positive are “dirty.”
Avoid dating site clichés like “drama free” and “straight acting.”
While the words sound like they’re saying something, they’re meaningless, and secondly, with them appearing with monotonous regularity on profile after profile, you being a drama free, straight acting dude doesn’t separate you from the pack.
Gay Profile Pictures That Work
First, add a profile picture of your face.
Sure there are ass men, size queens and all sorts of particular body attributes that trigger people’s individual perv switches, but in the end we’re all face men.
Showing off your chiseled abs (if you have them) is great, but gay dating sites are awash in ab shots… same thing goes for dick pics. There’s nothing wrong with posting these shots, but it’s your face that really matters.
Do you always need a face picture on your profile?
Withholding a face pic can come across as awfully suspicious to some. Do people with no pictures something to hide? Some sort of physical anomaly? Facial warts?
Maybe. But you may be a total stud-muffin who actually does require total discretion because of (whatever reason).
Before I came out, I refused to post a face pic because I was scared shitless to be identified on a gay website. After I came out – and posted a gay profile picture showing my face – I did a complete turnaround. “Everyone else should show their face just like I did!” I thought.
But I’ve since changed my point of view yet again. There are countless reasons why someone might not want their mug splattered all over a dating site – let alone for the purposes of a sexual hookup.
Just know that if you don’t add a face picture to your gay dating profile, you may be ostracized or feel punished simply for feeling nervous/shy/not ready. This is because most people are going to skip over profiles where they can’t see a face.
Including dick pics in your gay profile.
A dick pic often makes other guys click on your profile, and may interest them enough to actually read your profile.
Of course, it depends on the gay dating site you’ve chosen to join, but if it’s a sex-focussed community, then go for it. It’s certainly attention-grabbing.
It’s got nothing at all to do with being shallow. We all want hookups to be with guys who are funny and smart and sexy and rich and have big cocks. But, fess up, boys, how many of you get online and go right to the cock pics first?
It should be a lesson to us all that other guys are checking us out, and they’ll check us out first if we’ve posted something irresistible.
Different Types of Gay Profile Pictures
Different kinds of profile pics can send very different messages, knowingly or not.
We seem to get caught up on whether or not a profile pic captures our gorgeousness; but another effective way to get profile attention is to post a pic that captures character, and spirit.
Here are four basic choices of gay profile pics, and the effects each one can have on your potential hookup.
The Studio Profile Picture
Anyone who would go to such lengths as to have a studio pic done—let alone use it as their profile pic—must spend an awful lot of time in front of the mirror. I always fully endorse high-quality pics, but only so we can see them properly—not because I wanna see a guy at his unnaturally photoshopped best.
Studio shots are vain, unrealistic, and misrepresentative. And quite frankly, I find them a little weird. I expect to subsequently see them in a joke calendar.
The Selfie Profile Picture
Selfie profile pics are so easy and so popular, yet hardly a favorite. Nor do I consider it the most effective.
We’ve reached such a point of selfie-ness that I can no longer see one without being completely aware of the lengths to which the subject went in order to get the “perfect” pic of themselves. And I can’t help but be conscious of their arm extending far enough to make it not look like a selfie.
But what bothers me most about selfies is this:
A) they carry all the vanity of a studio shot but without the quality that comes with it, and
B) they have the quality of a snapshot but without the character-catching authenticity. Basically, I see vain people with poor camera skills.
The Selfie Snapshot
Here is the one kind of selfie I don’t mind. You’re in an interesting situation, maybe meeting someone famous, whatever, and there’s no one around to take the pic. So you do it yourself.
These kinds of selfies are so effective because they capture a quick moment, without prep, without glamour, but filled with event. How can they not catch someone’s attention?
The Snapshot Profile Picture
This is the type of gay profile picture I love, and always prefer. A snapshot leaves little or no room for glamour, but can sure tell a story.
These are pics of you in places you’ve been, or doing interesting things, or even silly situations – captured by others. They catch your eye, and communicate more about your joie de vivre. They’re honest and fun. And at the end of the day, if you’re gorgeous, that’ll come across all on its own, without you having to “pose.”
Make Sure Your Profile Pictures Are Current
Some guys cruise online habitually with a profile that hasn’t been updated in a zillion years. Don’t be this guy. There’s no excuse for any outdated profile information, pics or otherwise.
You might have looked especially hot in that Speedo photo from a Key West vacation taken sometime during the Clinton administration, but it’s going to take some fancy footwork to satisfactorily explain your appearance today vs. twenty years ago.
I’m not making this up, nor am I exaggerating.
“…I look pretty much like my pic ‘cept without the facial hair, and now I’m bald…”
“…ya, that’s when I was goin’ to the gym regularly…”
These details are important when we’re considering a hookup. An updated gay dating profile is essential to ensure that no one’s time is wasted, and that like-minds can find each other more easily.
If you have nothing to hide, you should make these easy fixes. If the profile continues to be old and stale, guys will wonder if you’ve got something to hide or if you’re just lazy.
Dishonesty is extremely unsexy, so put in the effort to ensure your gay profile pictures and details are up to date.
Avoid Lying in Your Gay Dating Profile
Speaking of dishonesty, dating sites run rampant with lies — from itty bitty white ones to big fat reprehensible ones.
Keep a sharp eye out for the following gay profile lies, and make sure you don’t fall into the trap of using them yourself.
The most obvious dating profile lie of them all. Heaven forbid you lose the chance to hook up with a twink, right? And who wants a potential hookup to question whether or not you can still get it up?
So you drop five, maybe more, years off your age. You keep your pic dark, or you post an old one. Trust me: you’ll only fool that hookup once. If he doesn’t turn you away immediately, chances are you’ll subsequently be blocked.
Your Cock Size
You might think your cock is a whopper, but let the rest of us be the judge. If you’re including a dick pic, throw some scale in the picture. (Coke cans and beer bottles alongside a stiff cock are popular.)
And for the record, “large” or “above average” doesn’t kick in until you’re past the 7-inch mark. Just sayin’.
Your Sexual Health Status
Get checked for STDs on a regular basis. Although you don’t have to label that you have an STD, you MUST be honest about it if it comes into play.
There’s more than just HIV out there — and we’d like to avoid all of it at all costs.
Your Preferred Position
Why do you say you’re versatile — or a top, even! — yet when you hook up, you only ever want to get fucked? I never understand this.
I sometimes wonder if it’s because some guys don’t want to admit that all they wanna do is get fucked in the ass. “Does that make me gay?” Duh!
Your Body type
“Toned” means you actually have muscle definition. “Average” means you probably don’t work out, so you’re likely a wee bit soggy but certainly not grotesque. “Large” means you’re large and you love eating Doritos. And your pic better back it up.
All sorts appeal to all sorts, so you won’t be left lonely if you’re not a gym-bunny. Just, please, no surprises.