Wake Up Your Gay Dating Profile

I’m getting bored again. I find I’m scrolling through profiles without reading carefully, hoping interesting keywords will jump out and grab me by the dink. Needless to say, my dink’s not impressed.

Below is a list of pretty much all I see, in some form or another. Multiply each one by infinity. I’ve taken the liberty of correcting the spelling and re-jigging the syntax as needed:

Looking to have both holes filled.

Bottom slut looking for tops.

Anyone looking for suckfuck action?

Normal ISO normal.

Insatiable bottom.

Need a hole to fill.

You get the idea. It’s like binge-watching porn — you’re bound to become desensitized after the first hour or so. Same with the aforementioned profile “attractions”. Did I wake up in Brave New World, or sumfin? Don’t get me wrong, I’m never above rubbernecking gorgeous cock pics, but beyond that I need to keep smelling-salts at hand.

What catches my eye these days are the interesting details. Certain guys are ditching the “hole to be filled” clichés and wholeheartedly boasting their specific desires.

Here are some of my faves:

Only interested in sucking the cock that just fucked your hole.

Jekyll and Hyde, here. I secretly need to suck cock once in a while.

I freeze my cum to snowball while fucking.

These details are usually things I may not have ever considered for myself, but I so admire their originality that I can’t help but e-connect. Sure enough, although I don’t necessarily hook up with these guys immediately, I do start an online relationship with them. Next thing you know, it’s simply the fact that we approach profiles from outside the box that allows us to connect. I have a suspicion we’ll be meeting eventually.

Of course not everyone will have a novelty desire to share, but why not try spinning what you are looking for? Maybe, instead of Looking to have both holes filled, you might try I don’t care what my brain says — I let my holes do the thinking.

Otherwise, with so much meat on the menu, you run the risk of either getting lost in the crowd or having to rely on your cock pic.  Hope it’s a nice one…

Be safe!

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