The Toy Box: Mystim Sizzling Simon

Get a load of this puppy! Meet Sizzling Simon, and you better listen up cuz Simon says, “Holy cow, that feels fuckin’ amazeballs!”

I’ve only yet used this toy on myself, but I can’t wait to share. And although it comes housed in a fancy-pantsy hardshell case, it most totally deserves a holster.

This toy rocks. I swear it’s from the future. The listed product-features will give you better insight into the mechanics of what it’s actually doing, but allow me to sum it up by saying that this weapon is capable of leading a full-on pleasure attack from all fronts.

Sizzling Simon Vibrator

  • it vibrates
  • it tingles
  • it has about 30 billion modes and intensities
  • it gets you from the tip
  • it gets you from the shaft
  • it gets you from the tip and the shaft simultaneously

And let’s not overlook the design: this baby is empowering—you’ll feel armed and ready for any intergalactic shagfest.

  • medical-grade platinum silicon
  • awesome power options
  • waterproof handle

Did you notice the extreeeeeemely ribbed shaft? Now THAT is what I call a stimulator. Most ribs are wimpy. These are brontosaurus ribs. If there was ever any doubt that you had something stuffed up your ass, these ribs will quash it for good.

When toys have too many options I usually find it a bother, a clumsy distraction. Not so with Sizzling Simon. With so many different settings designed to stimulate the inside of your ass, all you need to do is keep changing them up at will, surprising your gspot with whichever speed or level of intensity you happen to select. It’s like having a line-up of different guys waiting to fuck you—and you don’t know who’s next.

Take my word for it: invite Simon over. You’ll never want him to leave.

Be safe!

Leave a Comment