Whenever I’m hooking up with someone, I’m usually only thinking about one thing: sex. Will it be good? I hope it’s good! Am I leaving home for nothing? Will I find a new regular? That’s kinda what’s going through my mind.
At least that’s how I start. But as soon as I meet a guy, I can’t help but shift my focus towards what I find interesting about him, how he comes across, and whether or not there’s anything going on inside.
Physical appearances and sexuality go a long way on a first date, but never underestimate the power of being passionate about something in your life that has nothing to do with sex.
Think about it:
The Human Element. It’s the same as having interests outside of work (that’s right — no matter how passionate you are about your work, it’s not enough.) They help us to become well-rounded, even insightful. Our passions not only inform our behaviours, they make us more interesting. And being interesting isn’t such a bad way to ensure getting laid.
The Effect on Others. Who knows, what you’re passionate about could be something your date finds uber interesting. You may discover you have something in common, or you may be an expert on a subject he wants to learn more about. If your date has no passions of his own, hearing about yours can give you an upper hand in the confidence department. (Sneaky but true.)
It’s Alive! If you’ve ever sat with someone who talks about their passion projects, you’ve probably witnessed the transformation that ensues. When we talk about the things we love, our eyes brighten, our speech becomes more engaging, and we’re able to cast a spell on our listeners with enthusiasm alone. This can be very attractive, very sexy, and, sometimes, maybe even make us seem a little smarter than we really are. That never hurts.
Not that you should run out and take piano lessons just so you have something to say on a first date. If it’s not a genuine passion that enriches your life, it’ll never have the same effect.
Keep in mind, though, that passions can also have the opposite effect: your Dungeons & Dragons tournament trophy might not make much of an impression on your marathon runner. You’ll wanna sort that out during the pre-hookup e-chat phase: passion doesn’t guarantee compatibility.
Be safe!
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