Spring Water Douche Before Anal Sex: Good Idea?

This notion of anal douching with a bottle of spring water is a myth. Well, it’s not a myth that it’s done—it’s a myth that it’s effective. Sure, it sounds refreshing, I’ll grant you that.

Here are four reasons why you’d be better off saving that bottle of water for your next jog rather than your next hookup:

1. Insertion—Not only does a water bottle not have a comfortable, tapered, “applicator”-type end, it’s a wide screw-top! I can’t help but equate it to screwing a light bulb into your ass.

2. The Great Divide—The nozzle of a water bottle is, what, half and inch long? That should be enough to dampen the outside of your puckerhole and not much else. The point is to get the flush of water in deep.

3. The Squeeze—Have you ever squeezed a plastic water bottle? It’s a tricky piece of plastic that plunges nothing at all like a syringe. At best you’ll be able to get one good crunch, then the plastic will pop back into shape just enough to suck the water back out of your ass and back into the bottle. (Taking for granted, of course, that you managed to screw that bottle in tightly…)

4. The Flood—As in, there ain’t one. Just not enough water for a proper douche. And to get enough water you’d have to go through a case of bottles. Think of the fish you’re depriving just to give your butt a half-assed rinse.

There are PLENTY of gadgets that are specifically made for douching. Go to a sex shop or get online.

Guys who are new to the deed sometimes find it unsettling to have to go and ask for—or ask questions about—this kind of gear. It can be intimidating. But rest assured everyone’s doing it, and the market is thriving.

It takes practice, but soon enough you’ll be able to douche quickly and effectively.

And when you’re confident that you’re clean, anal sex is always better. No distractions, no embarrassing discoveries.

If you like what you see in porn, take my word for it: they’ve prepped with more than just a cool drink.

Be safe!

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