It’s no secret there are plenty of freaks in the world. They’re out there, all right. Even on gay dating sites. And you can’t always see them coming.
In my experience, guys who can’t take no for an answer tend to unnerve me the most. Personally, if someone I’m interested in poo-poo’s my profile and wants nothing to do with me, I tend to whimper, sulk, and likely hide under a rock for a while. But the freaks have a different way of reacting to rejection. A “no” to these guys is a Manchurian Candidate-like trigger, launching an online stalking campaign.
I once hooked up with a guy in a late-night desperation sit-che-a-shun. He was quiet when we chatted, but I simply took him for shy. When I met him later that night he was anything but shy. He was mean, rude, and way too aggressive. I bolted.
But he was far from gone: For more than a year afterwards, I (along with who knows how many other guys) was the target of his assaults. He began by accusing me of not wanting to hook up with him because I was racist (he was Mexican). Then he charged me with judging him for his unfortunate appearance (he was pock-marked). It was exhausting.
Why didn’t I simply block him? Therein lies the problem: I did. He, like others, will create new profiles in order to mislead others who have blocked them. So what’s a boy to do? For starters, you can report them to the site moderator. Hopefully the online stalker won’t know it was you and track you down at home.
Which leads me to something I practice whenever I leave home on a hookup:
1) I never – ever! – invite a hookup to my place until I’ve met them and played around a few times. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a good start.
2) Before I leave home to hookup with a guy, I always leave a note on my desk with the address and phone number of where I’m going… just in case I don’t come back and the cops start looking for me. If the note doesn’t save my life, it may at least help nail the fucker who killed me.
I was lucky. My stalker eventually went away, but it took a year.
And chances are he’s still out there, bothering someone else.
Check out: How to Keep a Hookup from Getting Attached
Any stalker stories you want to divulge. Share in the comments below.