How to Spot Online Dating Trawlers

I’m getting a little paranoid.

Have you ever found yourself looking to hook up online and encounter the following:

  • A guy who always wants to chat but never makes a plan to hook up?
  • A guy who chats it up then “disappears” the moment you suggest hooking up?
  • A guy who “bookmarks” you but has never once chatted with you?
  • A guy who wants you to smut-chat with him but never reciprocates?
  • A guy who agrees to hook up but always has an excuse to cancel at the last minute?

These guys are trawlers, and there are plenty of them. Technically they’re harmless.

But they’re annoying, and quite frankly I’m starting to get creeped out by them.

I don’t mind so much if they make it clear from the get-go that they have no intention of a hookup. For instance, if they tell me they can’t hook up but love my profile and would like to chat for a while, then at least I can choose whether or not to indulge them. Goodness knows I love smut-speak, especially with someone who can keep up.

Otherwise it’s just plain freaky. Here’s why:

  • I can’t help but suspect they’re not who their profile says they are. Hiding something, perhaps? Something yucky?
  • They’ve obviously latched on to my profile and are using it for wank fodder. To have bookmarked my profile means they’re returning to it regularly, which in turn means they have some secret fantasy going on, one that both includes and excludes me, if you know what I mean.
  • If they never have any intention of hooking up, it’s an awful lot of wasted time.
  • When I make a plan to hook up with someone, I expect it’ll be honoured. If that policy applies to meeting friends for coffee or dinner, it sure as hell extends to hooking up.
  • I even sometimes worry that it may secretly be a work colleague who recognizes me as an online sexaholic and gets off knowing he’s on to me.

Do you see how the paranoia can set in?!

Who knows, maybe I should be flattered, or dare I say more tolerant. Maybe they’re married, or in a relationship or something, and their online time is spent entirely in secret. I get it.

Doesn’t mean I want to be a part of it.

Please let me go!

Be Safe!

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