How to Get Out of the Dating Dead Zone

You’re in a rut. Bored about it all. Stuck in the dating doldrums. Cynical.

Dating can become a routine like any other: easily falling into dull territory. Do you really wanna eat the same food at the same time every day of your life? Probably not.

Maybe it’s time to ditch your same-old same-old and change it up a bit! Approaching hookups in a way that’s outside your comfort zone is an awesome way to fill the tank:

If you pick up online, get out. Social introverts hate hearing this, but it’s true. Picking up a guy in person is way different from doing so online. No cock pics, no one-line descriptions. It can be scarier but also more satisfying when the flirting is happening in real-life rather than cyber-life.

If you’re a pics-locker, unlock. Often guys will strike you off their list if a pic isn’t readily available. I appreciate discretion, but the simple act of “putting yourself out there” adds an extra charge of intensity. And you’ll get more hits, guaranteed. More hits makes the game more interesting.

If you have a “type”, try another. Why always twinks? or bears? or swimmers’ builds? or piggies? When you’re online with the “open for business” icon lit, how about disregarding types completely? Personally I think types are (mostly) irrelevant — it’s the personality within that’s attractive (or not). Consider it.

If you put-out on the first date, don’t. Let’s be honest, most guys expect to shag. If we’ve taken the trouble to hook up, we seem to think that only cumming will make it worthwhile, even if it’s a mercy fuck. But if you really like your hookup and would like to see him again, keep the date short and leave him (and yourself) wanting more. You can always wank when you get home.

If you’re monogamous, open it up. Open relationships are common in our community. Having sex with someone different is like trying — and loving — a new restaurant. Change brings freshness, new ideas, a new thrill. You and your partner can even do it together, sharing a third. Which brings me to…

If you’re a one-on-one, pile it on. You don’t have to become Caligula. But if you’ve never had group sex, you should try it (at least!) once. It’s easy enough to arrange, and there’s no doubt whatsoever that it’ll wake you out of your dating coma like a bucket of ice water.

When all else fails, I log off indefinitely, cleaning the slate for as long as it takes to re-juice, sometimes for weeks. Nothing makes dating more daisy-fresh than a return from absence. Notice I didn’t say “abstinence” — I allow myself to wank as much as necessary to keep me alive in the interim…

Meet someone new today at!

Be safe!

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