Y’know, it’s interesting: if you were to ask this question to both gays and straights, you’d get very different answers. But eventually all roads lead to Glumsville.
Never mind the straights — we have our own standard of mind-blowing sex culture. So how long can a relationship last if held together by nothing more than some of that mind-blowing sex? Actually, quite a while.
Maintaining a great sex life (with the same person exclusively) for any extended period of time is a tall order, for anyone. Things become routine. That’s life. The same would happen if you ate your favorite meal three times a day every day. If, however, you and yours are in love, it’s that non-sexual commitment that’ll do the heavy lifting and see you through.
But if you’re in an exclusive relationship that’s based solely on (albeit awesome) sex, then you’d be foolish to think it’ll last forever. Even perfect compatibility will one day be outrun by the loss of all-that-was-once-new.
Fortunately we in the gay-boy community have a healthy approach to casual sex—and that’s what saves us in the end. The tricks to having your sexual-match-made-in-heaven last are:
- If you’re not in love (or looking for a LTR) then stay away from exclusive hookups. Nothing makes you appreciate great sex more than having the lesser goods in between. Your appreciation of The Best will intensify.
- Put time between the best sex partners. The waiting in the meantime is brutal, but when the hour arrives, sheesh, get ready for the bar to raise.
- Stay in touch between hookups. Keep the dirty texts flying back and forth, teasing all that’s on the upcoming agenda.
- Keep a running list of things you wanna try/do. Make sure the list is so long that you never get through it. Keep water in the well, so to speak.
- Share your darker fantasies. You may never act on them, but incorporating high-intensity fantasy into your smutspeak creates a more intimate connection; and it’s a kick-ass warm-up, too.
It all depends on your priorities. Obviously mine is to keep the juices flowing, so I’m a little biased, I confess.
And if you and your fave shag accidentally fall in love, well, all the power to you. Let your commitment trump your loins… and enjoy those self-help books!