Good Fuck Gone Bad
Last night I reunited with a guy I used to hook up with regularly. It had been about three years since we’d last seen each other (no particular reason, just a typical case of losing touch, is all).
Argh—what a disappointment.
He was fatter.
He looked fifteen years older.
I even think his cock had shrunk.
Look, I know how it works. Time wreaks havoc on us all. But his online profile seemed to have dodged that bullet. Or… could it be that he became one of those guys who “loses himself” but fails to update the dating profile in the process? Yes to the latter. And shame on all you guys who do so.
His pic was still the same (which is how I recognized him), but in my enthusiasm to reconnect, it didn’t occur to me to ask for an updated one (live and learn, boys…). His profile stats were the same, so why would I suspect he’d look so different?
Here’s the most disappointing part:
During the online pre-hookup chat, he even razzle-dazzled me with the confident, sexy charm that had first attracted me all those years ago. But when I arrived, he had none of that. Instead he was dreary, and dull, and couldn’t look me in the eye. It was painful to see that he knew he had misrepresented (dare I say “lied”?) himself to me—a former lover with whom he once would never have been so sneaky.
I, too, have had my share of ups and downs. That’s life. But hooking up is hooking up. It comes with protocols, etiquette, integrity, consideration. Represent yourselves honestly. Keep your profiles up-to-date. Be truthful.
If he had said this during the pre-hookup chat…
“Hey, sorry the profile’s outta date. I put on a few. Would still love to get together, though! You up for it?”
…then I would never have written this post.