Gay Dating

Gay Dating: Cyber Bullies

Man Thinking on Laptop

Mind Your Own Fucking-Business

I recently watched an interesting scenario unravel while I was cruising online. “All-out war” is probably a more apt description. In a nutshell:

A hot young twink (let’s call him “Littledude”) logged on, and in his chat settings he wrote that he was looking for a “seed’n’breed” that very afternoon. Within minutes he was the target of a public bombardment of disapproval. Some even went so far as to try and shame him for being not only irresponsible in his own behaviour, but also in how he was treating unsafe sex with such laissez-faire, that he was setting a terrible example for others, that, for a guy of such a young age, he should wise-up before he contracted HIV and passed it along to others.

I couldn’t have been more baffled by this assault:

  1. What if the kid were already HIV positive? If so, then what difference would it make—he could be hooking up with other poz guys. Neg guys had only to ignore him. Don’t wanna hookup with guys who have unsafe sex? Then don’t. And Littledude made it easy to know where he stood. Just don’t hookup with him!

  2. What if Littledude liked rolling the dice? That’s up to him. He knows the risks, and is clearly willing to take them. As long as the others who were online always wear a condom anyway, and only have sex with others who do, then what role does Littledude even play in their lives?

  3. What if Littledude happened to have a death wish? Creepy, sure; but that’s his shit, and no one else’s.

Littledude tried in vain to defend himself. He could barely get a word in. He simply disappeared. Maybe he found himself a hookup; but my gut tells me otherwise—I think he was bullied away. My heart was breaking for a kid who in all likelihood probably did need a wake-up call. Just not in that way. If necessary, be concerned and help to educate; but don’t launch an assault.

That afternoon I was ashamed to be a part of the gay online-dating community. Do we not pride ourselves on promoting tolerance and understanding and education, and never resorting to personal attacks on others who may have lifestyles radically different from our own? I usually think so.

Logic and common sense tells me these attackers are in the minority, but there sure were a lot of them online at once.

Be safe!  …if you want to.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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