Hooking Up With a Wanker

I’d have a very, very hard time believing any gay guy who says he isn’t turned on by big cocks and big loads. It’s what we live for (alright, alright, I admit there’s much more to life, but this is a sex blog – save your favorite quiche recipe for elsewhere.)

Contrary to all advertisements boasting otherwise, the size of our gear is out of our control (I give thanks everyday to the cockgods!) The size of our loads, however, can (and must!) be controlled.

Sadly, here are the facts, like ‘em or not:

• young boys, from the moment we’re born, can’t keep their hands off their junk
• teenage boys are the true heroes of the tissue companies
• grown men will wank every day between hookups, as long as gravity will allow

It’s the third point we must address (the first two being completely out of anyone’s control). I’m a guy – you think I don’t know how hard it is not to wank every waking hour? I also know what it’s like to be online, cruising other guys’ profiles, and not having the wherewithal or otherwise to hookup, so resorting to a bit of a wank instead. If you’re the kind of guy who never actually hooks-up, or never has a date planned sometime in the near future, then wank away.

But here’s the thing –

Let’s say you have a date in 3 days. If you can control yourself for that long (I’d even go so far as to suggest “edging”, but that’s another post on another day)…

I PROMISE you: your cock will be harder, your load will be much bigger, and the intensity of your orgasm will blow your fuckin’ mind!

Imagine if all guys practiced this policy! Alas, this is not the case. What happens more often than not is I find a guy whose cockpic is wondrously promising, but at showtime he’s only 75% stiff at best, and his load is more aptly described as a cumdrop. And every time, without exception, when I ask (and I assure you, I do ask), “Dude, whaddup?!”, the reply I get is, “Ya, sorry, I wanked earlier today…”.

I say this: until you refill the tank, keep your hands off your junk.  Cuz if your orgasm’s only gonna clock-in at half-assed, imagine how thrilled I’m gonna be after having exercised self-control for three days, only to discover I wasted it on a wanker.

Be safe!