Making Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

Man's Torso with Belt Undone

2014: The Results Are In! Now that the holiday festivities are over, I’ve had time to reflect…

Alright, so I suck at New Year’s resolutions. Who doesn’t.

I did, however, manage to knock a few off of last year’s list: New Year’s Dating Resolutions.

Yoga, check. And I danced, I danced! And although I didn’t manage to have sex in a burger joint, I did get a mighty handjob in a quiet booth at The Keg, which I happen to think should count for at least a dozen resolutions.

Others on the list were ridiculous to begin with, and I was no doubt smoking crack when I came up with them: I will never date a guy who plays video games; I couldn’t bear to have a tramp-stamp inadvertently beheld by my Nana; and Glee — which, I’m sorry, is a totally dumbass show — can go fuck itself for the hours of my life it stole from me.

I think I was just too ambitious. Ten resolutions are surely a one-way trip to self-defeat (again, except that visit to The Keg.)

This year (that’s right, I’m feeling stupid enough to try again!) I’ll cut the list in half — and make it more realistic.

How about these:

1. Start each day with a shoulder stand”. Good one, eh!

2. Use the broom to collect dust bunnies — not my fingers. That one’s pretty embarrassing to admit.

3. Believe in god just enough to pray for a new TV series to come alongto fill the void left by Breaking Bad.

4. Don’t eat just the tips of my asparagus and broccoli. It’s so wasteful, but why do I suspect that that one’ll go by the wayside before February.

5. Get a blowjob in a bathroom stall at The Keg.

2015, here I come!

Be safe!

Meet new lovers this year at DiscreetGayDating!

Tell us what you think!

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Men Tonight logo
Men Tonight is your source for gay hookup advice, site reviews, reader questions, and everything about gay dating online. Here you'll find tips and advice for gay men in the online dating scene and beyond. Read about kinky encounters, original stories, and ways to improve your sex life.

Copyright © 2020