So Far Away From Me
I’ve been in an online long-distance relationship. Twice. I’d like to think I’ll never do it again. But it’s easy to get sucked in.
They start for any number of reasons. The first time it happened, I’d met a guy online, we hooked up, and, despite our hitting it off immediately, I learned his work would be transferring him across the country soon enough. The other long-distance relationship I was in began online, too, and I ultimately had to travel to finally meet him in person. I thought both of these guys were awesome – the relationships were failures.
It’s a downward slope.
Because of its cyber-osity (if only I got paid extra to make-up words!), all the energy – sexual or otherwise – is allocated to (mostly) words and (sometimes) pics. That usually makes for some intense and unleashed e-chat. With loverboy not actually around, consciously or not, the relationship becomes a fantasy in which the gaps being filled are not necessarily…how shall I put this…“grounded”.
That can only last so long – because when the time comes for one of those “in-person” reunions (you’re in the same city for a day, a weekend, whatever), you discover the disconnect between the fantasy you’ve been building and the wobbly reality lying next to you.
Once the disconnect is made, the trust issue is likely to swoop in and gnaw at your peace of mind like a terrier on a T-bone. (Who else is he seeing that he isn’t telling me about? Has he been safe? And on and on.) It’ll only be a matter of time before all that meat’s been picked clean.
None of this must ever be confused with having a kick-ass fuck-buddy who lives somewhere outside your homezone. That kind of long-distance relationship is far easier to maintain if it’s kept as simple as the following example of online chat:
You: Hey, sexmuffin! It’s been ages! But I might be in your stomping ground next month! Wanna hookup for a little of the ol’ in’n’out?
Him: Awesome, yes! Keep me posted!
See the difference? Long-distance Relationship vs. Long-distance Fuck-buddy. The former is an endless bunker-shot, the latter is a hole-in-one.