More Guys, Please
Monogamy isn’t for everyone. It certainly wasn’t for me.
I’ve been in relationships with some awesome guys, some of whom I’m still close to today. But when I think about the monogamy-of-it-all—oiy, talk about frustration and disappointment.
So I date/hookup online (mostly) and never promise any long-term relationships.
What nagged me (sometimes haunted me) was this: was it impossible for me to love someone, too? Is that what my personal opposition to monogamy was all about?
I refuse to believe it. And what I definitely don’t believe is that we’re destined to love only one partner. How can it even be possible that either A) there’s only one true-love “out there” for us?, and B) we’d have to prohibit ourselves from loving anyone else? When I consider the guys I’ve loved, and the guys with whom I’ve been in love, it seems like a mighty tall order to me. And I’m proud to say that the gay community is a darn loving community. How can I not always be finding someone to love (and here, specifically, by “love” I do not mean “fuck”)? Why limit love?
So I can love. But I can’t put the breaks on love. Many—many!—gay in love couples have open relationships. Boom, problem solved. Many is not all. Some couples choose the monogamous route. So why don’t I just choose option number one? Easy: because I’ve yet to meet a guy I’m in love with who wouldn’t mind me getting my ya-ya’s out elsewhere.
It’s easy to be “in a relationship” with a-guy-I-wouldn’t-take-home-to-mother and still have other partners on the side. But why bother? If I’m going to share space, I want it to be with someone I love. And if I end up sharing space with someone I love, I want him to be cool with me/us having other partners. If it isn’t a perfect scenario, why lock yourself in?
I figure, the more guys, the greater the odds of finding something to hang on to.
And in the meantime there’s a party in my pants and everyone’s invited!