Dirty Talk without Sex

“What’s That You Say?”

Man, do I love dirty talk! And I recently hooked up with a guy who broke new ground and raised its bar-of-awesomeness. When you hear this, you’ll likely say, “As if. Why would I waste my time not having sex?!”, but, as is said, never knock it till you try it.

We sat side-by-side and kicked things off with a bit of a raunchy-porn-watching fest. What unfolded (unexpectedly, for me, at least) can only be likened to phone-sex-without-the-phone/e-chat-without-the-‘pooter/live-3D sextravaganza.  Here’s how it went down:

Fully-clothed (and remaining so), we sat on the couch yakking about all the filthy things we wished we could be doing in a group that night. The more we talked (and talked and talked), the greater our imaginations intensified (by which I mean the fantasies we dived into were things no one in their right mind would ever consider doing without consequences). We barely even touched. And I can’t stress enough that we had NOT set out to try some tantric sex thingie (I’m just not into that; I like to touch). The chat just brought us closer and closer in proximity, until it was delivered bull’s-eye into each other’s ear drums—up close, a breathy heavy whisper of nastiness. Once in a while we touched, but only teasingly.

The ratio went something like this: 95% chat, 5% touch. This lasted more than TWO HOURS!!!!!

We never ended up getting undressed, which, despite being miraculous in itself, was poor planning, considering we each came enough to fill a sauce pot. Sometimes you just never know how a date is gonna go, do ya.

We’re hardly about make this all-talk-no-touch a routine (have I mentioned I LOVE getting naked…?), but there’s no doubt we’ll be hooking up again. Sadly, there’s a risk that the whole episode ruined e-dirtytalk (something I thought I could never get enough of) forever. How can it compete after that?!

Cripes almighty – with the right partner, is there anything that can’t be done to sky-high perfection?!

Try it, try it, try it!  Not to mention, it does wonders for your vocabulary.

Be safe!

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