I recently did something new, to test my own spew of verbal bullshit. I dare you to try it for yourselves.
I decided to go on a blind date. Not in the oldies sense of the term, whereby a friend sets you up with a friend, kinda thing. This was in the modern, online dating sense of the word: I agreed to hook up with a guy who didn’t have a single profile pic to share. He did, however, impress me with the contents of his profile, and the way in which we made a great e-chat connection. Why should I dread this, I thought? I mean, I meet with guys whose pics are awesome yet the date goes nowhere, so why not flip it around?
The verdict: we didn’t go home together. Face-to-face, neither one of us was interested in doing the deed. But we did hit it off in a friendly way. Did that make it a waste of time? Not in the least.
What I discovered was that my criteria for the kind of guy I’m interested in dating was pretty spot-on. Only two boxes remained unchecked: physical appearance and in-person chemistry. As for appearances, although on my list, it’s never been at the top; but you win some-you lose some. I lost. Obviously in-person chemistry can never be checked-off the criteria list until the moment it happens anyway, so I’d have that issue no matter who it was I hooked up with. Although ultimately “incompatible” (for whatever reason), me and my blind date did, as I say, hit it off personally. Quite well, in fact—just not to have sex.
The experiment made me confident in my own preferences. It reinforced my strongly held belief in choosing substance over style. And it reminded me that, within a profile, pics are (for me) nothing but gravy. I still appreciate and am attracted to beauty—so I do want to see those pics, I do, I do!—but there must be more behind it.
Try it. What have you got to lose other than one possible shag, really?
But please note: despite my own tendency to put less stock in appearances, you must always have a profile pic! You’d be foolish to think most guys won’t insist on—and make decisions based upon—it!