Look What Santa Stuffed Up My Chimney!
I usually have pretty decent relationships with my exes (except for the psychos, of course), and sometimes that good karma shines down on me like the star of Bethlehem.
Clearly I musta been a deliciously naughty boy in 2014 because one of my FAVE exes (I confess I sometimes still think about him and have a bit of a tug…) was extremely generous to me. Look what I got…
I mean, just LOOK at this gorgeous thing! It’s like an art installation to display in your ass! (Not that I know anything about art—but showing-off my ass is usually a no-brainer.)
Here’s another thing my ex knows about me that helped make this prethiouss giftie right up my alley: I love all things European. Rich fatty foods, over-priced clothes, moles-to-the-side-of-the-lip, etc. — they’re all my thing, so I KNEW it was going to feel like a disco party in my hole from the design alone! (Actually, don’t you find it looks kinda like a recorder? My memories of Grade 1 music class are forever altered… If only Mrs. K____ could be reading this now! She’d be so proud of my G-sharp!)
I promise promise promise this humble writer does not work for the manufacturer, nor do I get any kickbacks on sales; so it’s with a clear conscience that I put forth the following slime-free pitch:
- It’s 7.5 X 1.5—perfect!
- So easy to clean
- Safe with all lubes (I find that kinda thing handy)
- (Have I mentioned I love the design?! You’ll be the hottie of the party!)
- There’s that AWESOME cockhead-shaped tip! (I love THAT even more!)
If you want one of these masterpieces for yourself, here’s an easy link that’ll tell you more (although, trust me, they can’t sell it like I can. I should be getting kickbacks!)
Here’s the one and only part that sucks:
They call it The Joyful Ruby Magic Glass Dildo — but it’s not really made of rubies (could you IMAGINE how awesome that would be!).
But it certainly is magic…!
Be safe!