I haven’t met many guys who don’t like dirty talk. In fact, most guys I know would say “dirty” isn’t enough, that they prefer filthy or slutty talk.
Suits me. Not only do I love dirty talk, I happen to be pretty darn good at it. My online filthchat is often what leads to my hookups. The trouble is… there are way more guys who like dirty talk than there are guys who can pull it off. I don’t mean to say they’re bad at it, rather they’re ultimately too shy when called upon. I’ve been with guys who were so quiet I thought I was at a funeral.
After more than one garrulous (on my part, that is) romp, I’ve been asked how one can become more vocal during sex. If dirty talk doesn’t come naturally, or you wish you were better at it, here are some basic starters – to loosen the throat, so to speak…
Steal Porn Dialogue
Pick a few lines from whatever porn clips turn you on the most. It doesn’t even need to have cuss words in it; it may just be the way something is said. The best porn stars are stars for a reason – listen to the way they talk during sex, then steal it for yourself. You won’t be sorry.
Play-by-Play
This one’s easy. All you need to do is call the game. Vocalizing what’s going on in the moment is a very effective way of ramping up the dirty talk. Cock about to go in? Say, “I’m putting my cock in.” Planning on swallowing cum? Say, “I’m gonna eat your cum.” This is a good baby-step kinda place to start.
Vocal Sketching
I like this one. It differs from the play-by-play in that it describes not what’s happening, but what it looks like. It’s about describing the fine details to the other guy, who may not be in a position to see for himself. What does it look like from that view? Is there a mirror? Talk about the reflections of his (fill in your favorite body part) in the mirror. It may sound esoteric, but think of it as a vocal close-up.
Remember, you’re not on stage, you’re not acting, and you’re not performing. Sure, there’s some role playing involved, but there’s no need to get all worked up as though it’s All’s Well That Ends Well (even though it usually does!).
Next time you’re having a wank, try adding some dirty talk. Practice, practice, practice. Repetition, repetition, repetition.
Be safe!