It isn’t only women who can be clingy. There are plenty of clingy men. And they can get in the way of trying to maintain free-agent status. Who hasn’t found themselves in a “thing” with a guy who’s starting to take it a little too seriously? Are there ways to get out of such a “thing” without hurting the other guy’s feelings?
Yes, there are, but sadly most of them include lying. And there’s a great risk that the lies will backfire and the other guy will only want you more. Some of the more obvious lies, along with their respective risks, are:
|
Lie |
Unwanted Response |
Worst Scenario |
|
“I’m married” |
“Just tell her about me” |
He’ll stalk you |
|
“I’m in another relationship” |
“Just tell him about me” |
He’ll stalk you |
|
“I’m terrible at relationships” |
“It’ll be different with me” |
He’ll stalk you |
|
“I don’t want to date for a while” |
“Why were you at the spa?” |
He’ll stalk you |
Why bother risking any of these headaches. The best way around it, without ever having to lie, is, always, honesty up front. Honesty Up Front. Just looking for a one-night stand? Be honest up front. Not looking to give up on your regular hookups for just one guy? Be honest up front. To those who’ve yet to try being consistently honest up front, I tell you, it’s surprisingly easy.
That isn’t to say Mr. Clingy won’t be disappointed when you remind him of what you discussed on the night you met. But he won’t undergo shock when you tell him you’re not interested in a relationship propre. Best of all, he will not have crashed as far as he might otherwise have, and your honesty (and hopefully) your integrity will wake up next to you in the morning.
The pitfall you most want to avoid is false hope. If the line’s been crossed and it’s now out in the open that Mr. Clingy wants you to himself forever and ever, the “thing” must be stopped. He’ll only keep believing you’ll have a change of heart the longer you’re together, and it’ll only lead to more of column three (above). Don’t stay on as best girlfriends, either. It’ll feel awkward, and ultimately only lead to more of column three (above).
Honesty Up Front!
Check out: Escape Clause for Hookup Hazzards
Be safe!